~Crossroads~

*roughly describes my current situation*

Which path should I take? With whom should I be with?
I thought I have all the time in the world to observe and finally decide which one is the best for me. How the hell should I know that one of them decided to ask me to be his gf last night? I couldn't answer him and so I didn't. If only he had an intention to surprised me that night, I can safely say that he succeeded. My heart skipped a beat when he threw me that very question.

Deep inside, I guess I wanna be with him. But, I have so many "what if-s" running through my mind especially "What if the other guy is better?". It's like there are two options being given to me. Which one's better? To be with the one you think you like better than the other or to be with the one who, perhaps, is better than the other.

I went out with the one who asked me to be his just yesterday. I asked him,"Kalo aku ga salah ngira, kamu kan sekarang lagi deketin aku [he told me before..God damn it! Bukan gue yang keGE-ERan..haha], nah kamu bakal pdkt sampai kapan?". He said, until I give him an answer. But, when I asked him again what if [our, or my, world is full of 'what if's..u know?] I gonna answer his question in six months time..would he wait that long? No, he doesn't think he would.. What the hell. So,I was loved before and therefore I know how it feels like to be seriously loved, and the guy who really loved me would do whatever I want for he was afraid to lose me *silahkan muntah kalo mau..haha* I guess, if he doubts himself that he could wait for me for 6 months.. Then, he's not that into me. No? I appreciate his honesty though.

For the other guy, it seems like he takes thing slowly. When we went out together, he made it obvious that he kinda like me [silahkan bilang gue GE-ER..]. But, he didn't message me every five minutes or call me every single day. It makes me wonder 'he likes me..he likes me not'. He almost got all the things I am looking for in a guy ['almost' because he's a bit short for my liking..wth]. The problem is, I don't think I like him that much yet or if i ever gonna love him.

One of my girlfriends actually envies me. If only she knows that I don't feel any FUN at all. It's really confusing and I wish it could be so much simpler. I prefer a situation where I fall head over heels in love with someone and, of course, for him to feel the same.. rather than the situation I am currently in.

Anyway,
My final exam's coming and I shouldn't think about this confusing 'dua-gebetan' thingy for a while. Perhaps, I must spin out time a little longer and see who gonna stay till the end and doesn't give up on me. *Tapi, gimana dengan 'target taon baru' ama si cc kecil?...OMG*

*3.09 AM. Capek, abis jalan - jalan seharian*

Good nite, whoever you are =)

~I AM SO CONFUSING I FREQUENTLY CONFUSED MYSELF I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT MOST OF THE TIME I COULDN'T EVEN MAKE A DECISION WITHOUT CHANGING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN. FML~

2 komentar:

mei mengatakan...

we did take a picture. it's in his phone. i hope it becomes his wallpaper. gw pgn mati aja rasanya.

Felicia Loves Chocolate mengatakan...

km juga bego ah.. prasaan gue dah bilang, BAWA KAMERA EN FOTO2 kan?! minta fotonya ma dia... abis ketemu koq malah pengen mati..gmn sich..swt. O yach, pengen bilang lagi ah, KM PULANG DONK...ahahaha