~A Little Thing Called Regret~

Udah beberapa hari terakhir ini mood gue rada ga enak. Gue ga ngerti apa itu karena Surabaya belum ujan padahal harusnya udah masuk musim ujan, atau apa itu karena 2 minggu lagi gue ada final exam, atau karena akhir - akhir ini gue kurang ngonsumsi karbohidrat/protein/whatever yang intinya gue kurang makan. Surprisingly, my appetite has gone and these few days I couldn't finish any hard food I ate, not even frozen yogurt..and I've been eating once a day damn it. Kadang kalo dipaksain makan, yang ada malah mau muntah. Tapi gue rasa, alasan ini kebalik. Harusnya, gara - gara gue terlalu emo, gue jadi ngerasa kenyang mulu. Walaupun dengan cara ini gue bisa sedikit kurusan. I am not happy.

The reason I am being such an emo kid is different every day. It keeps changing. Ga, gue ga lagi PMS.

Alasan hari ini = Ada satu hal yang dulu gue lakuin, en sekarang gue nyesel. I am missing someone at this very moment. Dulu kita sempat deket en I was the one who ruined everything. The worst part is, I was aware of what I did. I drove him away for I believed that once he falls into "friend zone", it's impossible for me to see him in any other way. Padahal, kalo mau diliat dari awal en seandainya gue waktu itu mau jujur ama diri gue sendiri, sebenarnya gue interested ama dia. Terus, kita sempet lost contact karena beberapa alasan. Waktu kita contact2an lagi, gue juga ngerasa interested ama dia. The thing is, I kept telling myself that what I felt was not really what I thought I felt. One of my besties told me that it's obvious that he felt the same [jujur, gue juga nyadar...cuma sibuk nyangkal] and asked why I don't wanna give it a try. To which I replied :
1. Ga lha, dia cuma nganggep gue temen [after all those things he did..stupid me]
2. Dia baik banget, gue ga pengen kehilangan temen kaya dia. Makanya gue ga mau nyoba, karena kalo putus...ntar takutnya malah ga bisa temenan lagi [I'm friends with most of my exes]
3. The "friend zone" thingy [the end]
Sialnya, sekarang gue baru nyadar kalo dia ga pernah masuk ke "friend zone" itu sampe gue sendiri yang nyoba ngedorong dia ke sana, tapi ga sukses..while I pushed myself to his, SUCCESSFULLY. what the hell.


*note = semua yang gue tulis di atas, bisa bener..bisa juga separuh bener. Gue lagi emo, remember?*

~Life Is Unpredictable. I Am Waiting For That "Unpredictable" Thingy~

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