New Year 2011, The Resolutions

Dilihat dari resolusi taon 2010, ada beberapa yang sukses en banyak juga yang gagal.
Selama jangka waktu tertentu, gue berhasil ngegym 3x seminggu. Bahkan pake ikutan yoga en aerobic segala. Terus berkat diet en sempat puasa juga, berat gue turun 5 sampai 6 kg! Hasilnya? Badan gue jauh lebih kurus en muka gue ikutan mengecil kaya nenek - nenek peyot. Serba salah tingkat tinggi!

Gue juga sempat les Mandarin walaupun cuma satu level. Nilainya lumayan bagus tapi sayang gue males ngelanjutin lagi. Nanti - nanti aja deh.

Di taon 2010, gue juga udah bisa belajar nabung meskipun jumlahnya belum seberapa =)

Untuk urusan ke gereja, puji Tuhan hampir tiap minggu gue ke gereja. Pernah sih sesekali bolos, tapi dibandingkan dengan taon 2009. Menurut gue, kemajuannya udah lumayan. Apalagi waktu 2009 kemarin gue sempat bener - bener ngerasa 'hilang', terlalu banyak yang dipertanyakan dalam hati tentang ini dan itu sampai keyakinan gue ikutan nurun.

Eat wisely? Hmm, bisa iya bisa ngga. Sebisa mungkin ga makan junk food. Tapi di sisi lain, sering banget gue cuma makan sehari sekali.

Sisa - sisa resolusi 2010 yang ga gue sebutin, artinya gue GAGAL TOTAL *sigh*
Gue bahkan lupa kalo gue sempat pengen ke Cina bulan Desember kemarin.

-Untuk resolusi taon 2011-
1. Gue mau lebih dekat lagi dengan Tuhan.
2. Hemat! I don't need, I don't buy!
3. Lulus kuliah.
4. Berkenan di hadapan Tuhan (terutama dalam perkataan en perlakuan. Gue tau ini SANGAT SANGAT susah. Kemungkinan gue untuk salah ngomong, sarcastic, jutek, en laen - laen itu besar banget. But, at least, I'm WILLING TO TRY).
5. Menjaga kesehatan (minum air putih sebanyak mungkin, tidur yang cukup, olah raga).
6. Tone up my body. Kalo gue bisa nurunin berat badan, gue juga harus bisa ngebuat nih badan jadi lebih kencang.
7. Rambut yang bagus. Setiap 2 minggu sekali harus perawatan ke salon.
8. Selalu bersyukur dengan apa yang gue punya. Termasuk keluarga yang harmonis, materi yang cukup, cowo yang baik, teman yang selalu ada.

Oyah, satu lagi, ga sering marah - marahin si pacar...ahahhahhaha.

~Me The Gober Bebek~

I couldn't blog coz my bro was borrowing my laptop for God knows how long.
Sekarang gue dah males ngeblog tentang ultah, valentine, en blabla.. *maaf yach tessa sayank..ntar gue critain lewat msn aja*

*tagihan kartu kredit*

See the amount?? I was so proud of myself *big smiley face*. U know what, selama punya kartu kredit, cuma 2 kali doank tagihan gue totalnya 100ribu++... Salah satunya ya bulan kemarin ini. But, too bad, tagihan cowo gue malah membengkak. The reason's so obvious en apalagi kalo bukan gara - gara semua uang makan selama kita ngedate tuch dia yang bayar. The same goes with movie tickets, gasoline, plus my birthday & valentine presents.

I felt sorry for him and promise I'll try my best to manage our money more wisely.
Thanx to him, now I have "tabungan yang ga bole diganggu gugat" dengan jumlah yang [menurut gue] udah lumayan. Gue ngerasa rada ga percaya kalo inget ampe sekarang semua uang ang bao yang gue dapet waktu chinese new year en $$$ ultah yang gue dapet dari daddy MASI UTUH di tabungan. Ditambah ama uang jajan bulan lalu yang lebih dari separuhnya ga gue pake..and so on and so forth (^-^)

Thanx for he always accept me for the way I am, no matter how ugly [i never look really ugly anyway...ahahahaha. How's that sound? jkjk] I look these past few weeks. Even when I wear glasses or baggy shirt to go out, he never mind. That's why I can save more $$ for I didn't buy new dresses, bags, or shoes. At least, not in the same week =)
The last new shirt I bought is a checkered shirt and he's the one who paid for it (-.-!)

Well, starting from this month onwards, I'll become the 'stingiest-felicia' ever! There, I said it.. Let's hope I can stick with my own words *amen*
From now on, I will not buy expensive things which I don't really need.
Some people could afford expensive high-class branded things and still have spare money to waste. Me?? If I ever buy one authentic LV bag, kemungkinan besar gue ga jajan buat beberapa bulan ke depan. Seandainya gue bisa, itu pasti karena gue minta $ lagi ama ortu. Besides, ngapain buang - buang uang beli yang asli kalo akhirnya dikira orang kita lagi pake tas palsu buatan Cina?

Bulan depan, toko aksesoris gue juga udah mulai buka. Tuch toko hasil patungan ama Melda en Vira. Paling ngga, sekarang gue uda punya kerjaan sendiri..biarpun modal awalnya masi dari ortu. Dan gara - gara ini, gue jadi sungkan buat minta $ lagi ama bokap.

Si pacar juga rencananya lagi mau buka usaha sendiri. Kalo semuanya lancar, tahun ini juga dia bakal resign dari bank tempat dia kerja sekarang. En gue 1000% ngedukung rencananya yang ini.

I mean, better be employers than employees. Unless he works at some foreign companies and get a huge salary [like this...$5o.000 or Rp 123.000.000,- a month], I prefer him to run his own business. Afterall, kalo emang punya modal buat buka usaha sendiri, kenapa mesti kerja ama orang lain? Apalagi, biasanya siklus 'keuangan' pegawai/employee setiap bulannya selalu sama alias kaya gini =

Gajian - beli ini itu - akhir bulan uang sisa pas pasan - nunggu gajian dengan uang hampir abis - gajian lagi - beli ini itu lagi - uang abis lagi - nunggu gajian lagi [ulangi ini selama lo masi jadi employee]

Endingnya, seumur hidup tergantung ama gaji. It's okay if you are a guy and still single. Most probably you can save 1/3 of the salary you get. But, let say you're a girl [like me] or a guy who has a girlfriend [like me.. Wth, I'm just kidding. I'm not that bad, trust me]. Let alone, family. How much you can actually save each month? *in order to be rich..*

Hell, gue tau sebagian orang bisa hidup dengan gaji, bisa ngasi makan anak istri, en sekali - sekali belanja di mall. But, I wanna be damn rich and therefore I need my husband [and me?] to have A HUGE income. My ultimate ambition is to become a rich taitai, remember? Lol..

Memang sich, ga semua orang yang punya usaha sendiri tuch pasti kaya. Tapi, kalo yang begitu aja ga kaya...apalagi yg jadi employee?? En gue ga mau seumur hidup tergantung ama gaji.

Ok, ini uda rada off topic...
Lebi baek gue berhenti di sini en lanjut nonton Dexter.
Met malem, siapapun lo =)

~Money's not everything.. But I need money in order to live happily~

~Syalala..Dumba~

To Tesa sayank,
Sorry Kamis kemarin ga jadi ngeblog tentang b'day gue.. Waktu itu gue sibuk ama si pacar *halah* en sekarang baru sempat ngeblog lagi tapi ga tau mau cerita apa *mau ngebahas tentang ultah tapi foto - fotonya belum gue masukin ke laptop*. Makanya, gue nulis ini buat paragraph pertama.. *no better idea u know*

*si Poppy pake softlens*

Anyway,
Beberapa minggu yang lalu si pacar sempat complain gara - gara gue majang alamat website blog ini di info Facebook gue. Ternyata temen si pacar sempat baca en cerita ama dia. Gue rasa, gue ga bole terlalu yakin kalo gue tau siapa aja yang dateng ke sini. But, never mind, toh kalo gue berani ngepost apa yang gue tulis, berarti gue ga pa pa itu dibaca ama siapa aja =)
Lagian, seperti kata ce Jussy, buat apa nulis blog kalo bukan buat dibaca? Ya kan..

*ini si pacar*

Terhitung dari kemarin, pas awal Maret, gue mulai diet lagi ngegym lagi. Seminggu treadmill 5 kali. HARUS! Nich lemak udah numpuk di mana - mana. Pokoknya ampe akhir bulan May, berat gue mesti sudah turun 4 kilo *amen*
But, I it's kinda hard for me to stay motivated. How ah? =(

*too FAT*

Ya dah, gue nonton Hachiko dulu. Abis itu mau pergi jalan - jalan ke Supermall ama si pacar. En some things I might blog soon *minggu ini juga* = b'day, school life, si pacar masak buat gue, me opening a SHOP ^^

~A Pair of Wings to Fly Away~

~Tied Together With A Smile~

Ga terasa, udah lewat 1 bulan setengah sejak gue ngeraya'in malam taon baru 2010.. and it means school gonna start soon, REAL SOON, like 2 more days kinda soon *wth* (-.-!)

Random things during this one and a half month [all 'bout me or me-related or none-bout-you orGH]

1. Papi bought a new blackberry for me and I've been using it since one week ago or so.. [padahal dia ngasinya uda dari awal Januari kemarin]. All thanks to my 'gaptek'ness and love for procrastination, gue baru sign up tuch hp ke XL Centre minggu lalu..

*yang ini, si Gemini.. *

Frankly speaking, gue suka sich make nich handphone. Tapi masi belum terbiasa ngetik di keyboard sekecil itu [ngga! jari gue ga gendut koq..]. Bikin males sms panjang - panjang. I'm not THAT into Facebook, ga aktif di twitter, masih berokupasi sebagai mahasiswi dan belum jadi business woman yang super sibuk di mana mesti ngecheck email setiap hari. Jadi intinya, gue heran kenapa banyak BANGET anak kuliahan pake BB [en tambah yakin kalo remaja - remaja di sini pada kaya bebek ganti Blackberry cuma buat gaya - gaya'an doank..]. Jangan sama'in remaja Indo yang sekola di Aussie [gue ga tau kalo negara laen] yang juga pake Blackberry secara di Aussie mereka bisa dapet nich HP gratis, cuma tinggal ambil plan doank di provider - provider tertentu. Kalo gratis, kenapa ngga? Anyway, thank you papi...not only for the new phone but for it also shows that you love me so much muach *awww*

2. Karena alasan tertentu, sepertinya ga lama lagi gue bakal tinggal di rumah baru. I don't know for sure when we are going to move, tapi bisa dipasti'in tahun ini juga. Sekarang nyokap masih nyari rumah baru yang hadap Timur. Puji Tuhan, ukuran rumah baru nanti bakal sama seperti rumah gue yang sekarang atau syukur - syukur malah lebih gede [BUKAN jauuuh lebih gede lho yach! Kalo itu mah nunggu gue tunangan ma pangeran William dulu kali]

*ayo ayo pindah rumah*

Di satu sisi, gue seneng mau pindah rumah. Yah, ada pergantian suasana lha. Tapi di sisi laen, gue suka ama rumah gue yang sekarang..apalagi lingkungannya [graha family gitu lhoo~]. Pastinya gue bakal sedih waktu pindah en ga tinggal di sini lagi. Tau kalo semua rutinitas gue di rumah bakal beda en ga sama lagi . Moga - moga aja, abis liat rumahnya en udah pindah...gue ngerasa seneng *amen*

3. I think, I am in love with him. Awalnya, gue cuma sekedar suka biasa doank ama dia.. en tentang ini, kapan - kapan aja gue cerita'in. Gue bener - bener harus berterima kasih ama Tuhan karena udah ngasi dia buat nemenin gue. I don't know how long this relationship gonna last.. I truly hope he's the one. But, you'll never know, right? With him besides me, trying his best to do whatever [logical] things he can to make me happy.. For once, I completely feel like I'm the luckiest girl on earth. You know, family..friends..and now him = close to perfection *blessed*

*Franky L0v3 Felicia*

The more I 'love' him, the bigger my worry is. Perhaps, just like he told me countless times, I shall put all my worries in HIS' hand. Should trust HIM more..that HE gonna take care of me the best way

4. Si pacar baru beli mobil baru en besok udah dateng. Well, status sebagai pacar dia doank ga langsung menjadikan mobil dia sebagai mobil gue juga. Tapi yang pasti mulai besok kita bakal ngedate dengan mobil baru [en bukan second lho.. en mobil pribadi lho.. en bukannya gue matre lho.. I'm just SAYING]. Itu artinya besok dia jemput gue jam 10 pagi. Dan oleh karena itu, jam 8 besok pagi dia bakal ngebangunin gue en jam 10 gue udah harus siap. Sekarang udah jam 5 PAGI lewat 42 menit..huhuuuuu. Besides, gue dah janji ama dia kalo gue bakal tidur jam 3 tadi *now I feel like slapping my neighbour's face for I love to put blame on others..haiz [just kidding!]*

*hello new car!! (insert picture of me waving hand frantically)*

Oh tidak! I forgot to take picture of his old car! Padahal dulu kita jadiannya ya di mobil dia yang sebelumnya itu... *at this moment I seriously want to kick my neighbour upside down.. en here's another [JUST KIDDING]*

Selamat Pagi semuaaaa....

~We Belong Together~

~You're My Honeybunch~

(3 February 2010, Wednesday)

He reached my house around 6 o'clock that night. I opened the main door for him and the second thing he said to me was, "Ini buat kamu" *sambil ngasi tas kecil warna biru muda*

[the very first sentence came out from his mouth once he saw me = "Tunggu tunggu! Kita di rumahmu dulu... Di luar masi banjir". (-______________-!) Yeah, rencananya tadi malem kita mau makan ayam bakar di wiyung terus jalan - jalan ke PTC. Tapi waktu itu lagi ujan deras en di mana - mana banjir. Namanya juga Surabaya..lol. Eh, I'm not complaining though. I prefer rainy season than drought]

*and this is the baby blue bag I've mentioned above*

I was, of course, surprised AND happy. But, let me tell you the truth. Though I was happy and all, actually the first thing on my mind was this "Please don't tell me this is an early Valentine present! Not an early monthly-anniversary-present either! I don't want an early present T.T If this is a Val day present then it supposed to be given on Valentine day itself! 14 feb! Not earlier or later!". *doesn't mean I'm not being grateful or what..okok? huhuuu*

I think I was just afraid if he give it to me now then on 14 feb I won't get anything, which means on the real Valentine day, I actually got nothing. Well, I mean I'd got a/n [advanced] Valentine gift but still, FACT HAS IT that on 14 February my boyfriend give me nothing. No chocolate, no flower, only a simple nothing. Perhaps, this is quite important for me because it's our first val day together as a couple.

Note = we did celebrate it together last year...and that's when we were being introduced to each other ^.^

Anyway, back to the topic.. After a few seconds, common sense stroke me [what a words..]. Dia ga bilang kalo ngasi ini buat hadiah valentine. Dia ga bilang apa - apa, en artinya dia cuma mau ngasih doank..hehe *mulai tenang dan senang*

Di sini gue mulai penasaran kira - kira isinya apa. I asked him what was inside and he told me to open it up. Hmm, what if whatever inside doesn't excite me, and there he is! Standing right in front of me watching my 'oh, okay'-face??? Then, I took a seat on one of the chairs in the living room. Lucky me, he went to the toilet to change his working shirt to a casual T-shirt. I opened the pressie and BENER - BENER SENENG WAKTU NGELIAT INI ^_________________^

*big smiley face God I'm so happy*

I love cupcakes! I think Melda and Meimutz know how I love looking at those cute CUTE cakes! When I'm typing this, I already ate the purple one.. yang terbalik itu lho, di atasnya ada icing bentuk bebek. Rasanya jauh lebih enak daripada yang dijual di PTC *puji Tuhan*

*dan gue bukan baru ngelahirin anak cowo*

Nich, close up for the oh-so-cute baby boy ^^

*the whole cupcakes*

Let me say this again, I LOVEEEE cute CUPCAKES! one out of a few things I love love love~

*the one who brighten my [already bright] day..*kiss*

The story behind the pic above = Waktu itu uda lewat jam 11 malem, gue lagi nonton Take A Celebrity Out sambil duduk nyenderan ke dia. Pengen nyemil, gue jadi ngebayangin makan tuch cupcake en gue baru nyadar kalo gue belum take a pic of him and the cupcakes. Akhirnya gue ngebujuk dia supaya mau difoto di ruang makan aja.. Secara di sana lebih terang. Gue juga ngotot manggil dd gue turun ke bawah en help us take a picture. Padahal si pacar maunya kita foto sendiri aja...biar ga ngerepotin si dd. But, I want to take a picture of us, as nice as possible because I NEED it and the time I have is running low..

*ehem* Gue lagi nyiapin something buat dia =)
Hope he'll love it...

~I Am Blessed~

~I Got 1 Week Left~

Satu minggu lagi liburan gue abis en mesti masuk kuliah lagi. Bisa dibilang, jadwal semester 4 nanti bakal enak enak ngebete'in. Enak karena hari Selasa gue libur dan hari Senin bakal terasa seperti Sabtu [karena besoknya libur. . Selasa. inget? haiz], walaupun di hari itu gue mesti kuliah dari pagi ampe sore. Ngebete'in karena Senin en Kamis gue ada mata kuliah dari pagi sampe sore, yang berarti dalem seminggu ada 2 hari yang full day di kampus. Syukurnya, semua mata kuliah di hari Senin ama Kamis jaraknya ga jauh - jauh amet *HALLELUJAH!!!* Cukup lha buat sekedar makan siang..hehe.

Besides, hari Rabu gue cuma ada 1 mata kuliah entrepreneurship en Jumat cuma ada project yang lamanya cuma 1 jam lebih dikit doank *siiip..!*

Lagian, dibandingin ama jam kerja orang kantor yang 8.30 AM to 5 PM atau 9 AM to 5 PM, tanpa hari libur, jadwal kuliah gue masi JAUH lebih baek =) Contohnya ya cowo gue itu. Ngantor jam 7.30 pagi en baru pulang jam 5 sore. Tapi herannya, jarang banget dia ngerasa males pergi kerja...even itu hari Senin. He believes there is something good in everyday. Seandainya aja gue juga bisa mikir begitu tiap hari Minggu, supaya hari Senin ga males ke kampus..haha.

*1 minggu, en kita bakal ngumpul lagi*

Gonna blog bout relationship thingy for the next post. Sekarang uda jam 1.39 AM en gue masi belum mandi en keramas padahal besok mau nemenin Venny di rumah sakit.
Met malem smuaa..

~Live Life To The Fullest~

~Si Mom Yang Nyebelin~

back from a damn long hiatus.

I was so damn pissed off with my mom right now [since this afternoon to be exact]. No, am not referring to my biological mother but to my "mama angkat". Haiz.. never mind, I'll explain to whoever you are. So, besides my biological mother [I call her "mami"], I have this "mama angkat". She is my father's older brother's wife and I call her "Mom". Got it got it?! Arghh..

[at this moment, I'm so tempted to put her picture up on my blog. But, as the saying goes..always prepare for the worst. Who knows one day she gonna see it? right? right?! Now, i feel like a 'chicken'. damn it]

Jadi gini yach, sepertinya di setiap keluarga pasti ada salah satu anggotanya yang ga tau aturan, ga tau sopan santun, pokoknya yang nyebelin BANGET dech. Si nyebelin ini biasanya emang ga disukain ama hampir semua anggota keluarga yang lain juga [jadi bukan lo doank yang ga suka ama dia..].

Nah, si Mom nyebelin ini ga disukain gara - gara gayanya yang OKB banget, alias Orang Kaya Baru. Dari apa yang gue denger, dia ini dulunya dari keluarga yang biasa banget. Then, she got married to my daddy [my father's older brother. Remember?] who's the richest person in our family. Dari sini, mulai dech tingkahnya yang aneh bin ga tau sopan santu itu dimulai..

Supaya lebi simple en singkat, gue tulis dalam bentuk daftar aja. Here goes,

Daftar perbuatan si mom nyebelin=

1. Waktu baru married, dia tinggal serumah ama grandma gue. Kerjaannya tiap bangun pagi tu langsung mandi en DANDAN! Pake kaos jalan + jeans di ruma, en perhaps some light make up. EVEN WHEN SHE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE FOR THE WHOLE F*CKING DAY! Terus nonton TV sebentar, dilanjutin ama mengurung diri di kamar sampai jam makan siang.

2. Biasanya, menantu yang nyiapin makanan terus manggil mertuanya makan. Iya kan? Iya, itu kalo si menantu punya sopan santun en tau diri. Nah, yang ini malah kebalikannya. Amma gue yang masak dibantu ama pembantu. Terus waktu makanan udah siap di meja, amma gue juga yang ngetok pintu kamar dia en manggil dia makan. Luar biasa! Padahal dia sehat bugar, tapi tingkahnya kaya orang baru balik dari rumah sakit abis melahirkan..ckck.

[MULAI DARI SINI, GUE BENER - BENER OFFENDED AMA PERBUATAN DIA SECARA DIA NGELAKUIN INI KE NYOKAP GUE!]
3. Ngakunya sich dia lulusan Amerika, en dia soknya minta ampun!!! Dari dulu, dia kalo sms nyokap gue, sukanya gaya - gayaan pake bahasa inggris. Selain itu, kalo sms ga ada stopnya. Pernah sekali itu dia sms nyokap gue pake bahasa inggris en nyebelin abis. Akhirnya, gue yang bales2an ama dia...duh.

4. Tadi, dia mulai belagak lagi. Nyokap beli'in baju buat anaknya untuk acara Chinese New Year. Kebetulan si anak ga suka pake baju berkerah en yang dikasi nyokap tuch ada kerahnya. Dia minta nyokap gue untuk ganti ama baju yang laen. Gpp sich kalo dia minta nyokap ganti'in tuch baju. Tapi apa perlu dia ngasi tau kalo dia ga suka ke Pasar Atum gara - gara Pasar Atum sumpek ama jorok. Please dech! Presiden aja bisa makan pecel di warung! And mind you, Pasar Atum sama kaya Mangga Dua di Jakarta.. Gelo ah, dasar Orang Kaya Baru ya gitu dech!

5. Dia nanya ama nyokap, size baju gue masi T3 atau sekarang uda jadi T4? Damn her! Dia kira dia tinggal di Paris?? Pake T3 T4 sgala.. Apa susahnya sich nanya S, M, atau L?! Lagian apaan tuch maksudnya sekarang gue uda T4?! T4 refers to LARGE..what the hell. For your information, she's such a chicken she didn't dare to insult me in person! She sent me a message in Facebook asking whether I'm still T3 or slimmer already.. Why didn't she ask me directly if I am getting fatter or not?! The funny thing is, 2 out of her 3 kids are OBESE. Ok, i love her kids and i love my daddy.. the only person I hate is her and only her! [well, am quite a sensitive person especially when it comes to weight..huhuuu]

Anyway, hari ini gue sukses nahan kesel seharian.. Gue ga langsung bales message dia di Facebook dengan kata - kata yang sarcastic or whatever. All thanks to si pacar en juga sesi ngegym hari ini.

Tapi barusan gue sengaja nulis status tentang dia di Facebook. Hope she'll read it. O yach, ga lupa juga gue bales message dia dengan rada sombong juga...mwahaha..

Nite2 er'one.. Gonna publish new photos to facebook. Bye2.

~Having A Headache~

~Welcoming Two Thousand And Ten~

[supposed to post this up on 2nd of January but I don't have time.. was too busy playing farmville and hanging out with si pacar every-single-day]

I re-read my 2009 resolutions only to realized that I failed most of them..damn it.

I didn't travel to a new city, not even in my own country. I went to Makassar for my new year holiday and so what? That's my 27363443rd times visiting Makassar anyway *sounds so ungrateful wth*

I didn't spend my money wisely enough last year for I tried to enhance my appearance [which also failed..wth] by buying new make up stuffs + a couple of shoes + new dresses, etc. I even bought a new dog last year. So much for spending wisely.

Though I exercised regularly till mid of 2009 and actually lost 7 kg, I gained my weight back somewhere around September. When Muslims started fasting, I started eating like there's no tomorrow (-.-!)

I didn't manage to get a part-time job. I joined Ray White company [a real estate agent] and not even a month I started working, I quit. Anyway, the salary here is not good enough I better used my free time to sleep or watching more dramas or hang out with friends or browsing the internet.

I missed church almost ever single Sunday..wth. There's a point in my life during 2009 when I secretly questioning my beliefs [religion to be precise]. As long as I can remember, my life in 2009 was pretty smooth. I got almost everything I wanted. My parents just bought me a Blackberry, I got myself a new dog, have a boyfriend, school has been quite fun..and yet, here I am, driving myself further and further away from Him. At nights I prayed for Him to pull me closer, strengthen my faith and tighten our relationship just like before.

Anyway, beside those failure, there are certain things I successfully achieved in 2009 as well. I don't get tan, I wear more girly clothes a.k.a dresses, got myself a boyfriend to spend events/holidays with and I think positively [not much negative thinking anymore..mwahaha]. Eh? Wth! Only three not-really-useful things I achieved last year.....duh -__________- [three, not four, cause getting a boyfriend counted as useful..wth]
After all, 2009 was not bad at all..though it's not THAT good.

Here are my 2010 RESOLUTIONS

1. Exercise 3 times a week.
2. Drink more water.
3. Learn Mandarin [take a tuition].
4. SPEND WISELY [I don't need, I don't buy].
5. SAVE MORE $$$$ [am a super stingy person this year]
6. Go to China for the whole December '10 [haven't decided which part of China I wanna go yet].
7. Go to church at least twice a week
8. Be more patient & understanding
9. EAT WISELY [no junk food, eat rice only once a week]
10. Less cynical
11. Treat people like how I wanna be treated [finally..ahahaha]

*F&F*

~Believe that life is worth living and your believe will help create the fact~

~Nothing's Forever~

These past few days I could hardly access the internet (-.-!)
Gue sekarang lagi di Makassar. Tapi ga seperti dulu di mana gue seneng banget tiap kali liburan ke sini en SELALU sedih kalo mesti pulang, kali ini gue pengen pulang.

The true reason behind it =
Gue orang yang paling susah kalo mesti mandi en poo2 di rumah orang. Gue ga suka mandi air dingin, gue ga suka poo2 di toilet jongkok, bahkan di toilet 'duduk'pun gue masi milih - milih [tempat duduknya harus bersih versi gue, ada semprotan air buat bersih2 sehabis poo2, dll], lantai kamar mandi harus bersih en kering. Bahkan, gue lebih milih ga mandi en ga poo2 sama sekali [which I will do when I have to attend that damn school outbond in Januari..wth!] daripada harus mandi or poo2 di kamar mandi yang ga bersih versi gue.
Emang sich, di sini gue masi mau mandi walaupun sehari sekali. Tapi, gue ga bisa poo2 (-.-!)
Akhirnya, hari ini gue nginep di rumah akim gue, supaya bisa numpang poo2 sekalian (-.-!)

The thing is, gue udah minta pulang hari Rabu nanti. Gue dah seminggu di sini, mungkin keliatannya lama. Tapi untuk ukuran liburan ke Makassar, 1 week is like nothing! Pertama kali gue minta pulang, semua ga ngasih! Mulai dari amma, semua sepupu gue, bahkan gokim [semacem auntie] pada ngelarang. It was sweet, right?? Itu artinya kehadiran gue di sini emang diharepin. Cuma ya gitu dech, gue bener - bener pengen pulang aja.. Then, they asked me why? I said I am feeling unwell. Sampai detik gue ngetik ini, gue emang masi flu en ga sembuh - sembuh. Salah satu sepupu gue malah nyuruh gue kalo nyari alasan yang lebih bermutu dikit, en pada bilang kalo flu doank besok juga sembuh (-____________-)
Mind you, I can't tell them the truth, can I?! Anyway, the reason I wanna go home is partly because I really sick. Jadi, gue juga ga bohong.

Sialnya, gue ga tega maksa pulang, karena =
1. Gue dikira'in pengen pulang karena kangen pacar!
2. Gue dikira pengen pulang karena si pacar kalo ke Makassar ga bole tinggal di hotel, harus tinggal juga di rumah salah satu keluarga gue di sini.
3. Semuanya baek banget ama gue, pada minta gue jangan pulang dulu en mau ngapain aja asal gue ga pulang... *terharu mode on*
4. En yang paling utama, karena si pacar uda beli tiket buat nyusul gue ke sini tanggal 30 nanti. Sepertinya si pacar juga mau liat Trans Studio [en sayang kalo tiketnya kebuang] bareng - bareng secara dia juga belum perna ke Makassar.

Jadi akhirnya gue mutusin buat tinggal lebih lama. Bisa dibilang demi si pacar juga en sungkan ama keluarga yang udah baek banget di sini.

On a more serious note,
I kinda despise myself. Kenapa gue jadi sok bersih kaya gini?! Apa kabar diri gue yang ngakunya bisa hidup sederhana?! Memang sich, dari kecil gue udah kaya gini. Tapi dulu gue juga udah pernah ke Makassar, en bisa aja maksa diri gue buat mandi en poo2 di sini. Selama gue bisa ngumpul ama sepupu2 gue di sini, maen kartu ama mereka, jalan2 ama mereka. Karena di sini gue ga pernah ngerasa kesepian... I'd do anything.

But, everything's not the same now.
I dislike 'changes', almost as much as I hate 'separation'.
But, before I know it, I'm not the person I used to be.

I've changed.

~Bye The Old Me~

~The One With Pandora's Box~

Peeping into someone else's privacy [including mails, text messages, letters, social networking website.. Let alone, diaries] is like opening a Pandora's box, unleashing all those terrible things you never knew that person has. [for me, it's a thing..without 'S' which means singular at the moment]

Such a busybody, I trapped my own self into this awful situation where I should act as if nothing's bothering me. Imagine after today I have to fake smiles every single time I see that person I might as well plastered a smiley emoticon on my face.

They say, Let bygone be bygone.
So, why can't I?!

Well, thank God for next Thursday. I'll be going to Makasar for a few weeks and free my mind for a while.

~MOODY! Boo Hoo To Me~

~8 dec '09~

I said 'yes'.
So, it's official that I'm dating someone.

Let's hope i made the right decision and all goes well.

~Eleven Thirty Eight~

~Pause for A Moment~

Besok hari terakhir ujian yang artinya abis itu gue bisa nyantai 2 bulan penuh..yay!

Kalo ujian udah selesai, berarti ga lama lagi sepertinya dia bakal "nanya". En gue, ampe sekarang, masi bingung...Ya Tuhan!!!

I'm so fickle minded. No?! Baru aja kemarin gue ngerasa udah punya jawabannya. Tapi kemarin, gue mulai ragu lagi.

I'm enjoying my current life so much..
with all those attentions and all.

Would his jealousy ruins it?

Perhaps, I should learn about loyalty.
(not that I am a disloyal b*tch, I just want everyone to think that I'm still single..even when I'm not. damnit)

~Could Hardly Breath~

~Berasa Dosen~

To Tessa = Maunya gue nulis di comment box lo, tapi takutnya bakal kepanjangan. Jadi, gue tulis di sini aja dech.
Dulu, waktu baru pulang dari Aussie, gue juga sempet rada sebel ama ortu gara - gara jam pulang. Apalagi waktu gue baru balik, gue sempat libur 1 taon gitu sebelum masuk kuliah lagi. Selama itu, hampir tiap hari gue diajak pergi ama temen - temen [kebanyakkan cowo, tapi seringnya rame - rame koq] en bisa dipasti'in gue baru pulang ruma di atas jam 12. Jarang banget gue pulang sebelum jam 11. Emang sich, ortu gue ga pernah ngebatasin gue cuma bole pergi berapa kali dalam seminggu atau gue harus pulang sebelum jam tertentu. Tapi, of course, mereka sering banget negur gue. Katanya, malu ama tetangga kalo anak cewe koq pulangnya malem - malem. Malu ama tetangga, masa anak cewenya sering dijemput cowo en udah gitu tiap kali cowo yang jemput tuch beda - beda [kan gue ga cuma temenan ama 1 cowo, rite?!]. Selain itu, ortu gue juga bilang kalo cewe pulang malem - malem tuch bahaya. Terakhir yang gue tau, setiap gue diajak pergi en yang ngajak tuch cowo, mereka selalu ngingetin gue buat hati - hati en jangan terlalu percaya ama orang.. sapa tau dia jahat, etc etc.

At first, gue bete juga sich digitu'in. Gue ngerasa, kalo mereka bisa percaya untuk ngirim gue tinggal di Singapore en Melbourne selama kurang lebih 6 TAHUN. Gue ulang dech, 6 tahun-tinggal sendiri-di luar negeri-jauh dari mereka! Kenapa, waktu gue tinggal di Indo, aturan yang harus gue turutin malah lebih banyak? Aneh kan? Apalagi, gue ngerasa kalo umur gue udah kepala 2 [22 taon 9 bulan 14 hari to be exact].

Come to think of it, mereka ga salah. Gue tulis alasannya pake point form aja yach, biar cepet soalnya acara Limbad masuk Aquarium gede uda mulai, gue mau nonton...ahahahahaha *wth* =
1. Kalo lo tinggal di rumah orang laen, di sana pasti ada aturannya juga kan? En suka atau ga, lo harus ikutin. Nah, sama seperti lo tinggal di rumah ortu. Mereka juga punya aturan sendiri. So, bagi gue, selama gue masi hidup dari uang mereka en jadi tanggung jawab mereka en tinggal di rumah mereka.. I guess, we have to live by their rules.

2. Bad things happen. Gue bukannya mau nyumpahin lo kenapa napa sich van, tapi apa kata ortu lo [en ortu gue sendiri] emang bener. Mungkin lo ngerasa ga mungkin lo ampe diganggu orang waktu lagi pulang sendirian malem - malem [abis nganterin temen - temen lo balik] or bla bla bla en ortu lo over worried doank. Tapi, bad things happened and it happened to A LOT of PEOPLE. Secara general, lo baca koran dech. Banyak tau berita - berita orang ditusuk, dicopet, bahkan DIGENDAM! Ok, mungkin lo kira itu kan berita koran doank... Nah, masalahnya, GUE JUGA PERNA KENA BO! Lagi jalan - jalan di mall, en didatengin orang aneh. Tapi karena gue pinter, gue ga mau ikutin dia. Ceritanya panjang, laen kali aja gue cerita. Intinya, salah satu temen kampus gue perna cerita juga en ciri - ciri orangnya sama persis ama orang yang datengin gue itu! [dia cerita duluan, baru gue bilang kalo gue juga perna didategin..] En u know what, temennya yang lagi jalan ama dia kena gendam ampe akhirnya tas dompet en hpnya dia ikut ilang semua. Ini ceritanya panjang..kapan2 aja lha dibahas. Terus selain itu, ortu gue perna diikutin ama 2 orang yang naek motor, mereka nyari gara - gara en minta ortu gue turun, tapi bokap ga mau en kept on driving to the nearest polise station, ampe di sana tuch motor malah ga berani en kabur gitu dech. En masi banyak lha, padahal gue baru 2 taon balik sini. All in all, Indonesia isn't as save as u thing it is.Apalagi kita cewe...

3. Mungkin kita ngerasa udah gede gara - gara umur uda kepala 2. Cuma ya gitu dech, gue sich ngerasa emang perilaku gue belum sedewasa itu, ga tau lagi kalo lo. Contoh kecil, gue masi minta uang ama ortu. Kalo gue sampe kenapa - napa, gue rasa orang yang paling gue susahin ya mereka juga. Anyway, gue ngerasa kalo mereka wajib ngebiayain sekola en hidup gue, jadi uda seharusnya juga gue sebagai anak mereka nurutin aturan mereka kan?

Tuch kan van! Panjaaaang! AHAHAHAHAHA....
Anyway, gue masi sering ngelawan ortu...en masi banyak behaviour gue yang ngga banget sebagai anak. Contoh = Gue kuliah aja bisa bolos, en gue masi suka tidur subuh padahal uda dilarang, en weekend juga masi pulang di atas jam 12. Cuma, gue udah ga bete lagi sich kalo ga dibolehin pergi [pernah lho!] atau disuru pulang cepet...ahahhaha.

Ya uda, gue mau nonton TV dulu. Gimme a call! Gue dah message nomer gue lewat Facebook.
Nitey..

~Christmas' Coming~

~One Step At A Time~

He supposed to ask me the second time on December 8th, the day I finally done with my final exam. Beberapa hari yang lalu, gue masi ga yakin keputusan apa yang bakal gue ambil. Supaya selama ujian ga kepikiran ["wah, bentar lg ujian selesai. Gmn donk?!" kind of thought] , akhirnya gue minta dia untuk nanya lagi tanggal 18 December. Pas ama hari terakhir seminar EXIM en satu hari sebelum gue berangkat ke Jakarta atau Makasar. Wth, ampe hari ini gue masi belum beli tiket. Jangankan itu, gue belum pasti mau ke mana. Oh, so fickle minded.

Anyway, kalo sampai gue ngasi jawaban positif. A few things I would/wouldn't do are =
1. I wouldn't change my status on Facebook. I have my own reasons. Waktu gue jadian ama 2 mantan yang terakhir, gue juga ga ganti statusnya tuch =)
2. I'd only inform a few close friends of mine. By a few, I mean only 3 or 4 persons, max 5. Let the rest find out for themselves. Oh, kalo gue jadi ke Makasar, I'd tell my cousins of course =)
3. Mungkin gue ga bakal keluar berdua doank ama cowo. Kalaupun sekali - sekali kaya gitu, gue ga bakal bohong koq...wth.

Sekarang, gimana kalo gue ngasi jawaban negative =
1. Pengennya sich tetep temenan en keluar bareng kaya sekarang.
2. Moga - moga ga lost contact. Sayang kan, kalo gara - gara ini ampe kehilangan teman.

What I'm afraid of = Resikonya.
I've been single and wandering for quite some time, a year and a half, if I'm not mistaken. Ga perlu gue jelasin panjang lebar, yang pasti gue ngerasa ada [banyak!!] enaknya juga jadi single. Seandainya gue mau, berarti gue terikat lagi donk? Seandainya gue ga mau, ga munafik nich..gue juga rada takut kalo dia mutusin buat mundur. Trus yach, gimana kalo gue uda mau..eh, akhirnya [choi2!] gue malah jadi pihak yang sakit ati? Kalimat yang terakhir, gue belajar dari pengalaman beberapa temen gue. Waktu gue lagi sibuk mikirin ujian en ngejalanin idup dengan riang-gembira-santai-banget-makasih-Tuhan... Ada tiga [TIGA!] orang temen gue yang lagi patah hati en sedih mulu mikirin mantannya ampe hampir tiap hari nangis2. Nah lo?!

Ok, yang nangis tiap hari cuma 1, soalnya baru putus. Yang 1 lagi kadang masi sedih en nyesel uda rada seenaknya ama si mantan ampe akhirnya mereka putus en si mantan ga mau diajak balik. Sedangkan yang satu lagi baru kemaren ketemu mantannya en skarang sedi lagi. HOW??? Resikonya cukup bikin nyesek kaleee.. Emang sich skarang gue masi bisa ngontrol feeling gue en still standing on the safe side [got what i mean?]. Tapi ke depannya siapa yang tau?? Tiga orang temen yang gue mentioned di atas, mereka semua awalnya juga ga cinta - cinta amet ama para cowonya, tapi endingnya? Nah lo.. Adu, jadi tamba bingung, serem juga. Hmmm...

Ga papa dech, masi ada 18 hari koq...

ps = Gue bosenan alias gue gampang bosen. DOUBLE HOW -> HOW HOW?!

~I Don't Like To Be Labeled As Lonely Just Because I'm Alone~

~Crossroads~

*roughly describes my current situation*

Which path should I take? With whom should I be with?
I thought I have all the time in the world to observe and finally decide which one is the best for me. How the hell should I know that one of them decided to ask me to be his gf last night? I couldn't answer him and so I didn't. If only he had an intention to surprised me that night, I can safely say that he succeeded. My heart skipped a beat when he threw me that very question.

Deep inside, I guess I wanna be with him. But, I have so many "what if-s" running through my mind especially "What if the other guy is better?". It's like there are two options being given to me. Which one's better? To be with the one you think you like better than the other or to be with the one who, perhaps, is better than the other.

I went out with the one who asked me to be his just yesterday. I asked him,"Kalo aku ga salah ngira, kamu kan sekarang lagi deketin aku [he told me before..God damn it! Bukan gue yang keGE-ERan..haha], nah kamu bakal pdkt sampai kapan?". He said, until I give him an answer. But, when I asked him again what if [our, or my, world is full of 'what if's..u know?] I gonna answer his question in six months time..would he wait that long? No, he doesn't think he would.. What the hell. So,I was loved before and therefore I know how it feels like to be seriously loved, and the guy who really loved me would do whatever I want for he was afraid to lose me *silahkan muntah kalo mau..haha* I guess, if he doubts himself that he could wait for me for 6 months.. Then, he's not that into me. No? I appreciate his honesty though.

For the other guy, it seems like he takes thing slowly. When we went out together, he made it obvious that he kinda like me [silahkan bilang gue GE-ER..]. But, he didn't message me every five minutes or call me every single day. It makes me wonder 'he likes me..he likes me not'. He almost got all the things I am looking for in a guy ['almost' because he's a bit short for my liking..wth]. The problem is, I don't think I like him that much yet or if i ever gonna love him.

One of my girlfriends actually envies me. If only she knows that I don't feel any FUN at all. It's really confusing and I wish it could be so much simpler. I prefer a situation where I fall head over heels in love with someone and, of course, for him to feel the same.. rather than the situation I am currently in.

Anyway,
My final exam's coming and I shouldn't think about this confusing 'dua-gebetan' thingy for a while. Perhaps, I must spin out time a little longer and see who gonna stay till the end and doesn't give up on me. *Tapi, gimana dengan 'target taon baru' ama si cc kecil?...OMG*

*3.09 AM. Capek, abis jalan - jalan seharian*

Good nite, whoever you are =)

~I AM SO CONFUSING I FREQUENTLY CONFUSED MYSELF I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT MOST OF THE TIME I COULDN'T EVEN MAKE A DECISION WITHOUT CHANGING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN. FML~

~Small Talk~

Semacet apa sich di daerah Petra sana?? Rencana pergi jam 7, terus ditunda ampe 7.30, en sekarang uda jam 8.35 dia belum juga nyampe sini..duh.

Anyway,
Lagi libur seminggu + lagi musim hujan = GUE SENANG!!!
Enaknya liburan gini..bangun tidur ga usa kaget gara - gara suara weker, bisa jalan - jalan ampe malem, nonton dvd seharian ampe puas. Ya Tuhan, jauhkan hari Senin ini dari akuuu... Tapi kalo ga bisa, tolong percepat waktu sampai hari Selasa tanggal 7 Desember *Amen*

Hm, cuaca yang mendung - mendung gini juga enak. Apalagi sekarang hampir tiap hari daerah rumah gue pasti hujan. Paling suka dech kalo mau tidur trus ada suara hujan lengkap ama petir - petirnya. Selain itu, gue juga suka kalo lagi naek mobil terus ujan.. Rasanya tenaaang banget.

*Oh So Random*

Mind-walking = With whom should I be with? Dia en dia punya nilai plusnya masing - masing. Secara muka dua - duanya ga jelek [at least, ga lebi jelek dari cowonya cewe - cewe laen en ga lebi jelek dari mantan - mantan yang sebelumnya juga..hahaha,wth]. Secara sifat..Oh, c'mon..jelas aja yang keliatan sekarang ya cuma baek - baeknya doank. Temen - temen lebi suka yang itu, sedangkan ortu suka yang ini. Gue? Suka yang mana? Argh, uda dech..gue masi punya waktu beberapa lama. Toh sekarang gue ga harus ngambil keputusan apa - apa, sebelum gue tau jawabannya. The One Above Will Show Me The Way, I Believe =)

Back =
Dia lama banget sich nyampenyaaa....

~Good Mood Good Mood Good Mood~

~Unicorn Flies~

Gue pengen minggu ini cepet - cepet lewat, karena 2 alasan =
1. Minggu depan udah masuk minggu tenang A[s].K[nown].A[s] L.I.B.U.R...yay! Seharusnya minggu depan dipakai nyiapin diri untuk UAS.. Tapi yang namanya libur, tetap aja libur ^^
2. Tanggal 22 Nov 09 alias hari Minggu nanti, stand di PTC yang dibuka demi mata kuliah entrepreneurship 3 akhirnya closing juga. Puji Tuhan Hallelujah Amen I'd have one thing less to worry about. Bukannya gue ga suka jaga stand.. Tapi itu bukan berarti gue suka jaga stand. Ah, yang pasti gue seneng tuch stand dah mau tutup. Titik.

O yach, kenapa setelah ngerasain sendiri gimana najisnya broken heart, gue jadi ga tau mau ngomong apa sama temen gue yang lagi bercurhat ria karena patah hati? Gue mau bilang =
1. Udah dech, jangan dipikirin lagi - Jelas dia bakal tetep mikirin.
2. Jangan contact2an dulu [Been there, done that myself!] - Begitu si cowo sms, dia pasti bales dengan sepenuh hati lagi.
3. All things must pass - semua pasti berlalu, cepat atau lambat - Ini kalimat yang SELALU gue inget kalo lagi sedih, bete, en sejenisnya. Tapi ini juga kayanya ga mempan buat dia.

Malah sepertinya tadi gue ngomong terlalu to the point en yang ada dia jadi tambah ngerasa hopeless. Oh my God -______-

Now u see, ternyata ada baiknya juga kan jadi orang yang gampang bosan *haha*

~Tick...Tock..Tick...Tock~

~Who'd Have Known~

The bad mood I was talking about a few days ago, it's not getting better. Good news is it's not getting any worse either. So, I should consider myself pretty lucky. No?

The reason for my bad mood yesterday = I felt so f*cked up at night I couldn't finish my assignment. Hmm, gue jadi kedengaran kaya tipe manusia geek yang selalu rajin ngerjain tugas aja.. Emang sich gue ga selalu nyelesai'in semua tugas kampus [but most of the time I did. Self-defense, ya know?] tapi biasanya begitu gue mulai ngerjain assignment, I could get so concentrated on it I don't give a damn on anything else.

Hari kemarin dimulai dengan sangat baik - baik aja waktu gue, melda, dea, naomi en yenny syuting *tsah* iklan buat tugas mata kuliah art culture and sport appreciation besok. Kita ngiklanin nasi kuning en kemarin syuting, kemarin juga baru nyiapin semua bahan - bahan yang diperluin. Not only we share "lebay-ness" as something we have in common, kita juga sama - sama jago dalam procrastinating..sweet -_-

*nasi kuning..makanan Indonesia favorite gue, selain bakso, empek2 en masi banyak lagi..swt*

*albeit my bad mood I could still smile as bright as the color of the rice.. Eh, actually I was quite happy at that moment*

*the five of us.. thank u so much self-timer*

Sekitar jam 7 kita dah selesai bikin iklan. Abis makan - makan bentar [which I didn't finish and it's kinda weird for a big eater like ME], gue, melda, en yenny ke PTC buat jaga stand. This was where it all started. Ga tau apa karena gue emang udah kecapekan gara - gara ngerjain iklan dari siang ampe sore en malemnya mesti jaga stand, atau karena di stand gue juga rada bete ama anak - anak kelompok gue [padahal mereka ga ngapa - ngapain.. Yes, I just being weird like that..damn], atau karena abis pulang dari PTC gue masi harus ngerjain tugas Operational Management lagi. All I knew is I was so upset I cried myself to sleep for no particular reason hoping it could ease whatever shitty mood I felt. It did though =) I fell asleep straight away after that. What a way to end such a nice day..

On a lighter note, selain ngerasa emo, gue juga ngerasa kalo akhir - akhir ini semua di sekitar gue baek banget. Mulai dari situasi - situasi yang gue alamin sampe orang - orang di dalemnya. Gue jadi tamba bingung kenapa gue bisa ngerasa emo.. Waktu gue ga bisa ngerjain tugas, ada orang jayus yang mau bantuin [peace yandonk!], siangnya ada Dea yang ngasi jawaban en gue tinggal paraphrasing doank, my parents were so nice to me we rarely argue, and those hang out times with my close friends which were so fun [baek yang di kampus, maupun yang di luar kampus] .

Last but not least, gue seneng punya dd seperti yang gue punya sekarang. We can actually hang out together with or without our other friends... Kaya tadi siang dia nemenin gue nyari kado buat Melda. Then, dia nraktir gue teh gopek, gue nraktir dia pentol [hahahaha...], dia nraktir gue kentang K-Patat di mana akhirnya cuma beli satu buat bagi dua soalnya perut gue lagi ga enak karena seharian penuh belum makan, en beli dvd-5-gratis-1 trus ngebiarin salah satu untuk milih gratisannya en dia milih film hantu karena tau gue demen film horor.. Tell me, isn't that cool? *big smiley face*

~Recovering~

~A Little Thing Called Regret~

Udah beberapa hari terakhir ini mood gue rada ga enak. Gue ga ngerti apa itu karena Surabaya belum ujan padahal harusnya udah masuk musim ujan, atau apa itu karena 2 minggu lagi gue ada final exam, atau karena akhir - akhir ini gue kurang ngonsumsi karbohidrat/protein/whatever yang intinya gue kurang makan. Surprisingly, my appetite has gone and these few days I couldn't finish any hard food I ate, not even frozen yogurt..and I've been eating once a day damn it. Kadang kalo dipaksain makan, yang ada malah mau muntah. Tapi gue rasa, alasan ini kebalik. Harusnya, gara - gara gue terlalu emo, gue jadi ngerasa kenyang mulu. Walaupun dengan cara ini gue bisa sedikit kurusan. I am not happy.

The reason I am being such an emo kid is different every day. It keeps changing. Ga, gue ga lagi PMS.

Alasan hari ini = Ada satu hal yang dulu gue lakuin, en sekarang gue nyesel. I am missing someone at this very moment. Dulu kita sempat deket en I was the one who ruined everything. The worst part is, I was aware of what I did. I drove him away for I believed that once he falls into "friend zone", it's impossible for me to see him in any other way. Padahal, kalo mau diliat dari awal en seandainya gue waktu itu mau jujur ama diri gue sendiri, sebenarnya gue interested ama dia. Terus, kita sempet lost contact karena beberapa alasan. Waktu kita contact2an lagi, gue juga ngerasa interested ama dia. The thing is, I kept telling myself that what I felt was not really what I thought I felt. One of my besties told me that it's obvious that he felt the same [jujur, gue juga nyadar...cuma sibuk nyangkal] and asked why I don't wanna give it a try. To which I replied :
1. Ga lha, dia cuma nganggep gue temen [after all those things he did..stupid me]
2. Dia baik banget, gue ga pengen kehilangan temen kaya dia. Makanya gue ga mau nyoba, karena kalo putus...ntar takutnya malah ga bisa temenan lagi [I'm friends with most of my exes]
3. The "friend zone" thingy [the end]
Sialnya, sekarang gue baru nyadar kalo dia ga pernah masuk ke "friend zone" itu sampe gue sendiri yang nyoba ngedorong dia ke sana, tapi ga sukses..while I pushed myself to his, SUCCESSFULLY. what the hell.


*note = semua yang gue tulis di atas, bisa bener..bisa juga separuh bener. Gue lagi emo, remember?*

~Life Is Unpredictable. I Am Waiting For That "Unpredictable" Thingy~

~My New Found Love~

A Short Introduction :

*Bean*

Hello world, I've found my new love which turns out to be a male puppy [not female like what i thought before].

I bought love, loyalty, a single trusting heart [of course I copied it from somewhere..damn it] and brought him home on Wednesday, 10 November 2009. According to the seller, he was born on 30th of August, makes him 2 months and 13 days old by the time I wrote this post up.

As you could see from my previous posts, I only prepared one name when I decided to search for a new puppy. I was so sure that I would buy a female one and did not prepare for a male puppy's name. Ok, it's not really my fault because at first I only wanted a female puppy. But, he is too cute. No?

Bear, Honey, Beamer, Vincent [I seriously got scolded for using my brother's name for a dog = not respecting him..damn it] are a few names I wanna called him with. I was too confused and asked my papi to decide. So, he calls him BEAN from Mr. Bean (-.-!)

~And BEAN Is His Name-O~