Why some Asians wear light blue or green contacts?
Trying so hard to be an ahmong is it?
Why don't they use colors that suit their skin tone?
It's none of my business I know... But this is my blog and I can write whatever I want.
W
H
A
T
E
V
E
R
I want.
That's it. Good nite.
~ Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light~
p/s = I love Harry Potter to death. I don't mind getting the complete English-language version of Harry Potter series as my Christmas present *winks*
~2 Hari Sebelum Briefing Ospek~
"As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all - the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them." spoken by Albus Dumbledore.
18 July 08, bakal ada technical meeting en test LCC *dun ask me what's that coz I juga lupa u know* yg pasti harus masuk jam 06.30 pagi which means gue mesti bangun jam 5.30 PAGI!!
GUE GA SUKA BANGUN SEPAGI ITU!
Minggu depan dah mulai ospek/orientation week. Mesti buat tanda pengenal dr anyaman bambu yg ukurannya 25 cm X 25 cm. Isinya harus ada nama depan, jurusan, dan laen-laen dan laen laen termasuk foto 2R. Trus, tas yg bahannya dari karung beras dgn ukuran 30 cm X 40 cm en didesain secara tradisional. Sisa 4 hari lg sebelum ospek en gue blm siap2 sama skali..
I am so good at procrastinating eh.. L o L (^-^)
Lumayan excited bentar lg kul. Tapi, kalo inget bakal 4 taon..males juga. Dipikir2, waktu "terbang"nya cepet banget yach. Skarang mulai kul, sibuk ini itu, en begitu smuanya selesai umur gue udah..haiz, ga usa diinget2 dulu dech.
Anyway, besok Melda dateng. Ah..such a soulmate she is =)
Mulai dr kelas 5 SD udah bareng2 di kelas yg sama. Trus ke Singapore juga bareng, gt jg waktu di Melbourne. Sekarang, masuk Ciputra juga ketemu lg.The thing is, everything had not been planned. Kadang gue mikir, jgn2 ntar gede kita bakal tinggal di komplek yg sama..wah.
I hope ospek ntar bakal lancar.
How I wish I could fast forward to 4 August instead.
Got to go.. mau ngobrol ma nyokap dulu. Her words never fail untuk nenangin gue, di situasi apapun juga. Oh I love her so ^^
~ If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals~
18 July 08, bakal ada technical meeting en test LCC *dun ask me what's that coz I juga lupa u know* yg pasti harus masuk jam 06.30 pagi which means gue mesti bangun jam 5.30 PAGI!!
Gue tau Ciputra ga jauh2 amet dr rumah tapi gue perlu setengah jam buat siap2 en setengah jam buat bener2 bangun dr tempat tidur..
Dan mengingat kebiasan gue yg selalu ngulet2 ampe lupa waktu itu...huf
Needless to say,
Dan mengingat kebiasan gue yg selalu ngulet2 ampe lupa waktu itu...huf
Needless to say,
Minggu depan dah mulai ospek/orientation week. Mesti buat tanda pengenal dr anyaman bambu yg ukurannya 25 cm X 25 cm. Isinya harus ada nama depan, jurusan, dan laen-laen dan laen laen termasuk foto 2R. Trus, tas yg bahannya dari karung beras dgn ukuran 30 cm X 40 cm en didesain secara tradisional. Sisa 4 hari lg sebelum ospek en gue blm siap2 sama skali..
I am so good at procrastinating eh.. L o L (^-^)
Lumayan excited bentar lg kul. Tapi, kalo inget bakal 4 taon..males juga. Dipikir2, waktu "terbang"nya cepet banget yach. Skarang mulai kul, sibuk ini itu, en begitu smuanya selesai umur gue udah..haiz, ga usa diinget2 dulu dech.
Anyway, besok Melda dateng. Ah..such a soulmate she is =)
Mulai dr kelas 5 SD udah bareng2 di kelas yg sama. Trus ke Singapore juga bareng, gt jg waktu di Melbourne. Sekarang, masuk Ciputra juga ketemu lg.The thing is, everything had not been planned. Kadang gue mikir, jgn2 ntar gede kita bakal tinggal di komplek yg sama..wah.
I hope ospek ntar bakal lancar.
How I wish I could fast forward to 4 August instead.
Got to go.. mau ngobrol ma nyokap dulu. Her words never fail untuk nenangin gue, di situasi apapun juga. Oh I love her so ^^
~ If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals~
~You Can't Change The Past~
tonight
I simply regret
something I had done
which *I think* I should not had
I was too rush.. and now
Like a broken mirror, it could never be fixed.
~Shattered~
I simply regret
something I had done
which *I think* I should not had
I was too rush.. and now
Like a broken mirror, it could never be fixed.
~Shattered~
~1.2.Poof.It's gone~
2 weeks en I could say that I'm okay now. Like, almost totally.
I miss him less.
Every time my phone beeps, gue dah ga ngarep itu sms/telp dr dia.
1
2
*Poof*
Gone.
Emang sich tiap hari masi kepikiran, tapi rasanya ga sesakit dulu. Bagus.
Catatan pribadi yg ga pribadi2 amet :
'post-break up-pick-me-up'
1. kalo emang sedi, ngaku aja.. your friends, they might help a lot. *in my opinion, ga perlu cerita terlalu detail.. karena detail=privacy.. dan privacy lebi baek disimpen sendiri*
2. There is a quote that rang loud and true "time is a healer". En gue percaya, cepet atau lambat, semuanya bakal lewat..
3. NEVER. I mean NEVER. Sekali lg ah, NEVER.. be alone/sendirian..apalagi kalo baru2 putus. Serius dech, usahain jangan perna sendirian kalo baru putus karena bakal kepikiran hal2 yg ga perlu (en inget, ga semua yg kita PIKIR itu bener). Trus, kalo lg sendirian..perasaan sad/mellow/apa aja yg pasti feeling2 swt banget itu bakal jadi kerasa double atau bahkan triple susahnya! So, ask your cousins or your closest friends to have a sleep over at your place. In my case, gue ga dibolehin nginep di ruma temen..jd harus temen itu yg nginep di ruma gue. Penting buat kita *yg pasti gue* untuk cuma ngajak temen yg bener2 deket.. Kenapa? Please dech.. nginep di ruma orang yg lg patah hati tuch resikonya banyak. Mulai dr harus dengerin nama yg sama diucapin ratusan kali ama si patah hati, ampe kemungkinan gede bakal tidur pagi gara2 harus denger si patah hati MELACUR (baca : melakukan curhat). Siapa lagi yg punya kesabaran segede gaban buat tetep dengerin keluh kesah *huek* kita selain our closest friends? *deket banget ampe uda berasa kaya sodara* Beside punya kesabaran gede, en listening ears... they, somehow, always have the right words to comfort me.
4. Selain jgn perna sendirian, usahain buat selalu punya kesibukkan juga. Jalan2, ngafe, ngumpul ma temen2 gereja, nonton dvd trus dilanjutin ama cerita2 ampe pagi atau nyari hobi baru. Itu buat urusan fisik. Buat mentalnya, cari dech hal2 laen untuk difokusin. Kalo gue, lg konsen mikirin kuliah yg bakal mulai bentar lg *oh no!* dan beberapa hal laen *ga bisa disebutin di sini*
5. "if you think you can, you can", "if you think you can't, you can't"..Whatever you are thinking, you are right. I read that somewhere. Jadi, jangan mikir kalo you will never be able to get over that particular someone..atau you will never find someone better than that person. Kalo mikir kaya gitu terus, ntar malah tersugesti ama pikiran kaya gt en yg ada malah terus2an ngerasa sedih. Most of the time, I forced myself to think that what I need is time..maybe a little longer or perhaps a damn long one, to forget about him..en I keep telling myself that I can.
6. Alasan mantep buat ngelupain dia..en buat gue, ini yg paling efektif! KEEP IN MIND KALO PIHAK YG SATU AJA DENGAN GAMPANGNYA BISA MOVE ON..si cowo aja bisa ngelupain gue dalam jangka waktu yg LAMBAAAAAAT *apa antonimnya lambat?!* banget. Kalo inget2 ini, gue jd berasa baekkan total! Karena obviously gue ngerasa bego mikirin org yg jelas2 ga mikirin gue. En gue benci ngerasa stupid..mind that!
7. Kalo masi ga bs ngelupain juga. Ya udah, live with it.. Jgn perna mohon2 minta balik, kecuali lo yakin si cowo masi sayang *tapi tetep lebi baek jangan. Kalo si cowo masi sayang, dia yg bakal minta balik..kecuali waktu putus lo yg salah*. Your/my heart might be in pain, tapi please untuk tetep punya HARGA DIRI...
Anyway, this is a one-of-a-kind experience for me. Waktu ngerasain "broken heart" *now i feel kinda disgusted typing those two words* gue jd ngerasa itu saat2 gue jadi weak..WEAKEST! Kaya cewe lemah *not physically* en gue benci ngerasa lemah, ga bs mikir secara logis *padahal mikir pake perasaan malah harusnya lebi ga bole*, jadi cewe mehe2 gt..ga pinter abiz..damnit.
Gue punya temen cewe, a casual friend, yg "broken heart" berkali2..karena tiap kali jadian dia selalu serius en tiap kali itu jg dia jadi pihak yg disakitin. Padahal dia cakep! *jd bingung..en masi ga abis pikir kenapa bs kaya gt*
Dulu waktu dia curhat2, gue ngerasa dia koq melankolis banget sich...lemah banget! Tapi pas gue lg kena post-break up syndrome yg swt abiz itu, gue sempet mikir kalo ternyata nich cewe KUAT ABIZ! Bayangin aja, gue yg br ngerasain sekali aja udah serem ndiri kalo mesti kena lagi.. Nah dia bisa ngalamin itu BERKALI2... Kuat banget kan?!
Tapi, sekarang gue balik lg mikir kalo benernya dia tipe cewe lemah yg melankolis abis (-___-)
~Back On The Right Track~
p/s : this might be THE LAST ENTRY I wrote about something, somehow, related to him and my broken heart.
p/p/s : - "feli cepet banget sembuhnya.. yakin km beneran cinta ma dia? bukan cuma sayang?". I loveD him. Cepet? Ga juga..kadang2 masi kangen en inget dia koq..cuma ga se'ekstrem dulu. Anyway, ngomong ttg cepet/lambat.. dia lebi cepet =)
- "Kamu beneran sedih ta? Kok keliatane biasa2 ae?... Abis feli ketawa2 mulu". Emang orang sedi ga bole ketawa? lol.. As much as I hate ngerasa lemah.. gue lebi benci KELIATAN lemah..
p/p/p/s : - Don't keep asking me who is he.. If I didn't tell you when you asked me for the very 1st time, artinya gue emang ga bakal ngasi tau lo siapa dia..
- En hey, kalo lg ngafe bareng en tiba2 gue diem aja..itu artinya gue emang ga tau mau ngomong apa. Bukannya uda biasa ya kalo kadang gue tiba2 dieeeem banget? Jadi jgn ngotot kalo gue diem gara2 keinget mantan...duh. It seems like someone knows me better than myself *sarcastic nich*. You don't even know what the hell was going on..
I miss him less.
Every time my phone beeps, gue dah ga ngarep itu sms/telp dr dia.
1
2
*Poof*
Gone.
Emang sich tiap hari masi kepikiran, tapi rasanya ga sesakit dulu. Bagus.
Catatan pribadi yg ga pribadi2 amet :
'post-break up-pick-me-up'
1. kalo emang sedi, ngaku aja.. your friends, they might help a lot. *in my opinion, ga perlu cerita terlalu detail.. karena detail=privacy.. dan privacy lebi baek disimpen sendiri*
2. There is a quote that rang loud and true "time is a healer". En gue percaya, cepet atau lambat, semuanya bakal lewat..
3. NEVER. I mean NEVER. Sekali lg ah, NEVER.. be alone/sendirian..apalagi kalo baru2 putus. Serius dech, usahain jangan perna sendirian kalo baru putus karena bakal kepikiran hal2 yg ga perlu (en inget, ga semua yg kita PIKIR itu bener). Trus, kalo lg sendirian..perasaan sad/mellow/apa aja yg pasti feeling2 swt banget itu bakal jadi kerasa double atau bahkan triple susahnya! So, ask your cousins or your closest friends to have a sleep over at your place. In my case, gue ga dibolehin nginep di ruma temen..jd harus temen itu yg nginep di ruma gue. Penting buat kita *yg pasti gue* untuk cuma ngajak temen yg bener2 deket.. Kenapa? Please dech.. nginep di ruma orang yg lg patah hati tuch resikonya banyak. Mulai dr harus dengerin nama yg sama diucapin ratusan kali ama si patah hati, ampe kemungkinan gede bakal tidur pagi gara2 harus denger si patah hati MELACUR (baca : melakukan curhat). Siapa lagi yg punya kesabaran segede gaban buat tetep dengerin keluh kesah *huek* kita selain our closest friends? *deket banget ampe uda berasa kaya sodara* Beside punya kesabaran gede, en listening ears... they, somehow, always have the right words to comfort me.
4. Selain jgn perna sendirian, usahain buat selalu punya kesibukkan juga. Jalan2, ngafe, ngumpul ma temen2 gereja, nonton dvd trus dilanjutin ama cerita2 ampe pagi atau nyari hobi baru. Itu buat urusan fisik. Buat mentalnya, cari dech hal2 laen untuk difokusin. Kalo gue, lg konsen mikirin kuliah yg bakal mulai bentar lg *oh no!* dan beberapa hal laen *ga bisa disebutin di sini*
5. "if you think you can, you can", "if you think you can't, you can't"..Whatever you are thinking, you are right. I read that somewhere. Jadi, jangan mikir kalo you will never be able to get over that particular someone..atau you will never find someone better than that person. Kalo mikir kaya gitu terus, ntar malah tersugesti ama pikiran kaya gt en yg ada malah terus2an ngerasa sedih. Most of the time, I forced myself to think that what I need is time..maybe a little longer or perhaps a damn long one, to forget about him..en I keep telling myself that I can.
6. Alasan mantep buat ngelupain dia..en buat gue, ini yg paling efektif! KEEP IN MIND KALO PIHAK YG SATU AJA DENGAN GAMPANGNYA BISA MOVE ON..si cowo aja bisa ngelupain gue dalam jangka waktu yg LAMBAAAAAAT *apa antonimnya lambat?!* banget. Kalo inget2 ini, gue jd berasa baekkan total! Karena obviously gue ngerasa bego mikirin org yg jelas2 ga mikirin gue. En gue benci ngerasa stupid..mind that!
7. Kalo masi ga bs ngelupain juga. Ya udah, live with it.. Jgn perna mohon2 minta balik, kecuali lo yakin si cowo masi sayang *tapi tetep lebi baek jangan. Kalo si cowo masi sayang, dia yg bakal minta balik..kecuali waktu putus lo yg salah*. Your/my heart might be in pain, tapi please untuk tetep punya HARGA DIRI...
Anyway, this is a one-of-a-kind experience for me. Waktu ngerasain "broken heart" *now i feel kinda disgusted typing those two words* gue jd ngerasa itu saat2 gue jadi weak..WEAKEST! Kaya cewe lemah *not physically* en gue benci ngerasa lemah, ga bs mikir secara logis *padahal mikir pake perasaan malah harusnya lebi ga bole*, jadi cewe mehe2 gt..ga pinter abiz..damnit.
Gue punya temen cewe, a casual friend, yg "broken heart" berkali2..karena tiap kali jadian dia selalu serius en tiap kali itu jg dia jadi pihak yg disakitin. Padahal dia cakep! *jd bingung..en masi ga abis pikir kenapa bs kaya gt*
Dulu waktu dia curhat2, gue ngerasa dia koq melankolis banget sich...lemah banget! Tapi pas gue lg kena post-break up syndrome yg swt abiz itu, gue sempet mikir kalo ternyata nich cewe KUAT ABIZ! Bayangin aja, gue yg br ngerasain sekali aja udah serem ndiri kalo mesti kena lagi.. Nah dia bisa ngalamin itu BERKALI2... Kuat banget kan?!
Tapi, sekarang gue balik lg mikir kalo benernya dia tipe cewe lemah yg melankolis abis (-___-)
~Back On The Right Track~
p/s : this might be THE LAST ENTRY I wrote about something, somehow, related to him and my broken heart.
p/p/s : - "feli cepet banget sembuhnya.. yakin km beneran cinta ma dia? bukan cuma sayang?". I loveD him. Cepet? Ga juga..kadang2 masi kangen en inget dia koq..cuma ga se'ekstrem dulu. Anyway, ngomong ttg cepet/lambat.. dia lebi cepet =)
- "Kamu beneran sedih ta? Kok keliatane biasa2 ae?... Abis feli ketawa2 mulu". Emang orang sedi ga bole ketawa? lol.. As much as I hate ngerasa lemah.. gue lebi benci KELIATAN lemah..
p/p/p/s : - Don't keep asking me who is he.. If I didn't tell you when you asked me for the very 1st time, artinya gue emang ga bakal ngasi tau lo siapa dia..
- En hey, kalo lg ngafe bareng en tiba2 gue diem aja..itu artinya gue emang ga tau mau ngomong apa. Bukannya uda biasa ya kalo kadang gue tiba2 dieeeem banget? Jadi jgn ngotot kalo gue diem gara2 keinget mantan...duh. It seems like someone knows me better than myself *sarcastic nich*. You don't even know what the hell was going on..
~I'm Moving On~
Although you are always on my mind
*pic frm the bitter stickgal*
And I still miss you every now and then
I keep reminiscing the past..
From the very first day we met, till the last day we parted at the airport.
Starbucks to the unknown restaurant. *I forgot its name..uh*
One missed call to Sumpah Pocong Di Sekolah.
All songs on your Ipod playlist..Sempurna, Sebelum Cahaya, Cinta Ini Membunuhku, etc.
Everytime I passed by Somerset, Starbucks, Sushi Tei, Cosi (resto di Sutos) my heart's aching..a little.
I miss every single thing we had..
Our late-night talks.
Waking and being waken up by you in the mornings.
A simple sms out of nothingness.
Numerous phone calls with a reason..
and the reason is just-wanna-hear-your-voice.
I miss you.
I miss us.
I can't seem to let you go
But I will go on without you
"Everything happens for a reason. I believe strongly in it. I think that God loves me a little too much to let me go through life difficulty. Many things that appear to be obstacles in life are his little ways of protecting me from greater harms."
Just like this one, never before I felt so miserable over a failed relationship. Banyak yg bilang kalo tiap orang pasti bakal ngerasain (paling kurang) 1 kali broken heart. Dulu, aku ga percaya. Sekarang juga masi ga percaya. Most of us mungkin bakal ngalamin itu, tapi ngga SEMUA ORANG/EVERYONE. Anyway, tanpa harus dipikir ulang, aku jg dah tau kalo ini emang yg terbaik. Bisa dibayangkan kalo ini semua dilanjutin while "external problems" itu masi ada (en rasanya "external problems" itu bakal selalu ada..or that's what HE believes so)..udah bisa dipastikan kalo aku bakal lebi sakit hati dr ini.
Sempet mikir, kenapa udahannya bukan waktu aku udah bosen aja? Atau bener2 kebukti kalo kita ga cocok? The answers popped up.. Kalo udahannya waktu aku uda bosen, then apa bedanya relationship kali ini ama yg dulu? Dan kata dia, kalo kita putus karena kita bener2 udah ga cocok..itu brarti kita putusnya ga baik2. Well, okay.. I satisfied enough with the answers.
Ada beberapa hal yg bisa aku pelajarin dari ini (mungkin bagi yg laen ga penting, tapi cukup penting buat aku), or in other words, banyak yg dulunya aku ga ngerti sekarang jadi ngerti =
1. ternyata broken heart itu sakit *yes dear, dulu aku kira rasanya biasa2 aja*
2. Thanks God ternyata aku jg bisa bener2 suka/sayang/cinta ama orang.
3. karena sekarang uda mau serius, laen kali harus make sure SEMUA okay (including something I can't mention here), sebelum setuju untuk be in a relationship *seriously, aku GA PERNA NYANGKA bakal putus dgn alasan yg kaya sekarang*
4. uda mulai bisa masak en ternyata masak itu fun *ini salah satu sisi positif dr broken heart..lol*
5. termotivasi untuk "maju" en skarang jd lebi niat mau kuliah *I hope it won't fade away soon*
6. aku bakal lebih ngehargain si Prince Charming/The One/Mr.Right/whatever you call him.
Lagian kamu juga sepertinya uda bisa move on and let me go..
I guess it's so much easier for you, as you don't love me as much as I love you *that's perfectly okay, because this time it's my turn to learn about the pain*
Jadi aku jg harus bisa, paling ngga aku harus bisa move on walaupun belum sepenuhnya bisa untuk let go =)
Yesterday is history.
us is history
Tomorrow is a mystery.
mungkin kita bakal balik lagi, mungkin kita bakal ketemu orang yg lebi baik buat kita.
But today is a gift.
masi banyak yg harus disyukuri.
Therefore it's called 'present'.
Yea, aku baru nonton Kungfu Panda.
I gotta believe that my Mr.Right is still out there.
~And I want to make sure you know~
*pic frm the bitter stickgal*
And I still miss you every now and then
I keep reminiscing the past..
From the very first day we met, till the last day we parted at the airport.
Starbucks to the unknown restaurant. *I forgot its name..uh*
One missed call to Sumpah Pocong Di Sekolah.
All songs on your Ipod playlist..Sempurna, Sebelum Cahaya, Cinta Ini Membunuhku, etc.
Everytime I passed by Somerset, Starbucks, Sushi Tei, Cosi (resto di Sutos) my heart's aching..a little.
I miss every single thing we had..
Our late-night talks.
Waking and being waken up by you in the mornings.
A simple sms out of nothingness.
Numerous phone calls with a reason..
and the reason is just-wanna-hear-your-voice.
I miss you.
I miss us.
I can't seem to let you go
But I will go on without you
"Everything happens for a reason. I believe strongly in it. I think that God loves me a little too much to let me go through life difficulty. Many things that appear to be obstacles in life are his little ways of protecting me from greater harms."
Just like this one, never before I felt so miserable over a failed relationship. Banyak yg bilang kalo tiap orang pasti bakal ngerasain (paling kurang) 1 kali broken heart. Dulu, aku ga percaya. Sekarang juga masi ga percaya. Most of us mungkin bakal ngalamin itu, tapi ngga SEMUA ORANG/EVERYONE. Anyway, tanpa harus dipikir ulang, aku jg dah tau kalo ini emang yg terbaik. Bisa dibayangkan kalo ini semua dilanjutin while "external problems" itu masi ada (en rasanya "external problems" itu bakal selalu ada..or that's what HE believes so)..udah bisa dipastikan kalo aku bakal lebi sakit hati dr ini.
Sempet mikir, kenapa udahannya bukan waktu aku udah bosen aja? Atau bener2 kebukti kalo kita ga cocok? The answers popped up.. Kalo udahannya waktu aku uda bosen, then apa bedanya relationship kali ini ama yg dulu? Dan kata dia, kalo kita putus karena kita bener2 udah ga cocok..itu brarti kita putusnya ga baik2. Well, okay.. I satisfied enough with the answers.
Ada beberapa hal yg bisa aku pelajarin dari ini (mungkin bagi yg laen ga penting, tapi cukup penting buat aku), or in other words, banyak yg dulunya aku ga ngerti sekarang jadi ngerti =
1. ternyata broken heart itu sakit *yes dear, dulu aku kira rasanya biasa2 aja*
2. Thanks God ternyata aku jg bisa bener2 suka/sayang/cinta ama orang.
3. karena sekarang uda mau serius, laen kali harus make sure SEMUA okay (including something I can't mention here), sebelum setuju untuk be in a relationship *seriously, aku GA PERNA NYANGKA bakal putus dgn alasan yg kaya sekarang*
4. uda mulai bisa masak en ternyata masak itu fun *ini salah satu sisi positif dr broken heart..lol*
5. termotivasi untuk "maju" en skarang jd lebi niat mau kuliah *I hope it won't fade away soon*
6. aku bakal lebih ngehargain si Prince Charming/The One/Mr.Right/whatever you call him.
Lagian kamu juga sepertinya uda bisa move on and let me go..
I guess it's so much easier for you, as you don't love me as much as I love you *that's perfectly okay, because this time it's my turn to learn about the pain*
Jadi aku jg harus bisa, paling ngga aku harus bisa move on walaupun belum sepenuhnya bisa untuk let go =)
Yesterday is history.
us is history
Tomorrow is a mystery.
mungkin kita bakal balik lagi, mungkin kita bakal ketemu orang yg lebi baik buat kita.
But today is a gift.
masi banyak yg harus disyukuri.
Therefore it's called 'present'.
Yea, aku baru nonton Kungfu Panda.
I gotta believe that my Mr.Right is still out there.
~And I want to make sure you know~
~Playing-Whys~
I believe there is a third being that created everything we are. I call him Jesus Christ..or simply God. In troubled times, I seek for Him. In good moments, it is Him I praise. Karena gue percaya kalo dia yang berkuasa atas semuanya. Manusia cuma bisa berusaha, tapi kalo Tuhan belum berkehendak maka semuanya bakal percuma. The same goes with kesuksesan.. Biar mo "4 taon" kalo cowo/cewenya males en ga mau usaha, gimana bisa sukses? Itu semua kan tergantung dari niat/karakter orang yang bersangkutan, and leave the rest to God.
Apa semua orang yg sukses itu cuma orang2 "4 taon"? Aku jg perna denger ttg mitos itu. In fact, aku juga disaranin ama "4taon" (disaranin bukan berarti diHARUSin). Tapi menurutku, kalo dapet "4 taon" en sukses ya syukur.. tapi kalo ternyata ga ama "4 taon" ya udah. Toh belum tentu aku ama "3 taon" bakal sial seumur hidup. Lagian ada koq yg "6 taon" (menurut orang2, jangan ampe "6 taon" karena katanya sich itu sial) tapi sekarang MENDERITA ngitung harta pribadi *sense the sarcasm*. I believe in God, nothing else... Kalo sampe 1 hari nanti aku mau percaya ama fortune-teller or sejenisnya, Mama Laurent bakal jadi orang pertama yg aku datengin.
Sorry.
Aku cuma ga habis pikir.. mereka rajin banget ke gereja, kenapa masi percaya BANGET ama mitos itu? Mungkin keharusan buat nyari "4 taon" juga dianggap suatu usaha.. Abis dapet yg "4 taon", baru Tuhan yg menentukan. *I, somehow, feel that you put your trust too much on that particular guy..*
But then again, I couldn't blame anyone..karena memang ga ada yg salah. Mereka pasti mau yang terbaik buat kamu. En mereka orang terakhir di dunia yang bakal punya maksud buruk ama kamu.
And I will never blame myself for the problem is not mine :
1. Aku ga nuntut macem2 dari kamu
2. Bukan dr keluarga broken home
3. Makan sekolahan (ada pendidikan)
4. Bukan tipe cewe nakal/ga bisa jaga diri/ga punya harga diri/whatever u call them
6. Lengkap secara fisik, ga ada cacat berarti *amit2 jabang baby..jgn sampe Oh God*
5. They don't even know me personally, hence I don't think there is something wrong with my
personality
Aku tau sebagai cewe, aku juga banyak kurangnya di sana sini :
1. Ga bisa masak *well, ini lg on progress..karena beberapa hari trakhir ini aku yg masak, jadi lebi tepat kalo dibilang "ga gt bisa masak" daripada "ga bisa masak"*
2. Ga bisa nyetir
3. Belum lulus S1
4. Ga cakep2 amet
Kalo nomer 1-3, itu semua hal2 yg bisa dipelajarin en aku lg dalam proses belajar. Tapi kalo kurang cakep yg jadi alasan.. Well, hahahaha...I don't know what to say. Sini dech aku bantu cari meme2 cute di Sby =)
Kenapa dari awal kamu deketin aku kalo kamu tau persis mereka maunya gimana? It means kamu uda tau dr awal kalo cepat atau lambat kita bakal selesai, ya kan? Mungkin kamu emang serius perna suka ama aku, tapi kamu ga serius mau "ke depannya" ama aku. Jadi, sebenernya itu bisa dibilang serius atau ngga sich?
Easy for me to blame you for that reason I stated above. Tapi dulu aku juga perna gituin orang, en aku ga mau disalahin. Rasanya ga pantes kalo sekarang aku malah nyalahin kamu. So, menurut aku, kamu juga ga salah *en please, aku ga mau denger ada yg nyalahin kamu dgn alasan ini.. kalo memang kamu salah gara2 ini, ya udah anggep aja aku kena karma secara dulu perna gituin orang. Case closed.*
Trus, kenapa I have to gone through all this heart-breaking experience?? Apa bener cuma karena karma? Atau supaya aku tau kalo broken heart itu rasanya emang sakit? Supaya aku tau kalo aku bener2 bisa "luv" juga?
Anyway, mungkin seperti kata Jim Carrey, "all my failed relationships teach me what I do not want in a relationship..and all these failed ones prepared me for the right one."
If later on I become a better me, and finally meet the right one.. I'll give you a big "thank you". Karena secara ga langsung, kamu udah banyak ngebantu aku untuk jadi orang yang lebih baik..
~Ga semua "kenapa" memiliki "karena"~
Apa semua orang yg sukses itu cuma orang2 "4 taon"? Aku jg perna denger ttg mitos itu. In fact, aku juga disaranin ama "4taon" (disaranin bukan berarti diHARUSin). Tapi menurutku, kalo dapet "4 taon" en sukses ya syukur.. tapi kalo ternyata ga ama "4 taon" ya udah. Toh belum tentu aku ama "3 taon" bakal sial seumur hidup. Lagian ada koq yg "6 taon" (menurut orang2, jangan ampe "6 taon" karena katanya sich itu sial) tapi sekarang MENDERITA ngitung harta pribadi *sense the sarcasm*. I believe in God, nothing else... Kalo sampe 1 hari nanti aku mau percaya ama fortune-teller or sejenisnya, Mama Laurent bakal jadi orang pertama yg aku datengin.
Sorry.
Aku cuma ga habis pikir.. mereka rajin banget ke gereja, kenapa masi percaya BANGET ama mitos itu? Mungkin keharusan buat nyari "4 taon" juga dianggap suatu usaha.. Abis dapet yg "4 taon", baru Tuhan yg menentukan. *I, somehow, feel that you put your trust too much on that particular guy..*
But then again, I couldn't blame anyone..karena memang ga ada yg salah. Mereka pasti mau yang terbaik buat kamu. En mereka orang terakhir di dunia yang bakal punya maksud buruk ama kamu.
And I will never blame myself for the problem is not mine :
1. Aku ga nuntut macem2 dari kamu
2. Bukan dr keluarga broken home
3. Makan sekolahan (ada pendidikan)
4. Bukan tipe cewe nakal/ga bisa jaga diri/ga punya harga diri/whatever u call them
6. Lengkap secara fisik, ga ada cacat berarti *amit2 jabang baby..jgn sampe Oh God*
5. They don't even know me personally, hence I don't think there is something wrong with my
personality
Aku tau sebagai cewe, aku juga banyak kurangnya di sana sini :
1. Ga bisa masak *well, ini lg on progress..karena beberapa hari trakhir ini aku yg masak, jadi lebi tepat kalo dibilang "ga gt bisa masak" daripada "ga bisa masak"*
2. Ga bisa nyetir
3. Belum lulus S1
4. Ga cakep2 amet
Kalo nomer 1-3, itu semua hal2 yg bisa dipelajarin en aku lg dalam proses belajar. Tapi kalo kurang cakep yg jadi alasan.. Well, hahahaha...I don't know what to say. Sini dech aku bantu cari meme2 cute di Sby =)
Kenapa dari awal kamu deketin aku kalo kamu tau persis mereka maunya gimana? It means kamu uda tau dr awal kalo cepat atau lambat kita bakal selesai, ya kan? Mungkin kamu emang serius perna suka ama aku, tapi kamu ga serius mau "ke depannya" ama aku. Jadi, sebenernya itu bisa dibilang serius atau ngga sich?
Easy for me to blame you for that reason I stated above. Tapi dulu aku juga perna gituin orang, en aku ga mau disalahin. Rasanya ga pantes kalo sekarang aku malah nyalahin kamu. So, menurut aku, kamu juga ga salah *en please, aku ga mau denger ada yg nyalahin kamu dgn alasan ini.. kalo memang kamu salah gara2 ini, ya udah anggep aja aku kena karma secara dulu perna gituin orang. Case closed.*
Trus, kenapa I have to gone through all this heart-breaking experience?? Apa bener cuma karena karma? Atau supaya aku tau kalo broken heart itu rasanya emang sakit? Supaya aku tau kalo aku bener2 bisa "luv" juga?
Anyway, mungkin seperti kata Jim Carrey, "all my failed relationships teach me what I do not want in a relationship..and all these failed ones prepared me for the right one."
If later on I become a better me, and finally meet the right one.. I'll give you a big "thank you". Karena secara ga langsung, kamu udah banyak ngebantu aku untuk jadi orang yang lebih baik..
~Ga semua "kenapa" memiliki "karena"~
~After One Week~
Today is exactly one week I broke up with my first love
and I am alone..again.
I read a quote once, "You always believe your first love to be your last, and your last to be your first."
Then I am wondering if you really are my first love..
1. Aku ga suka kalo ada orang yang, in a way or another, ngejelek2in kamu. Instead of jadi il-fil sama kamu, aku malah "sibuk sendiri" ngejelasin kalo kamu ga seperti yg mereka kira.
2. Mengalah is not really my thing, apalagi kalo aku tau persis aku tuch ga salah. Sama kamu, aku bisa ngalah.
3. To swallow my ego, right in front of you, ngaku kalo aku uda suka kamu dr dulu..padahal aku masi ga yakin kalo kamu punya the same feeling towards me. Percaya dech, itu ga gampang buat aku.
4. I once asked myself a question, gimana kalo ternyata aku harus balik lg tinggal di Bjm? Misalnya, ternyata nantinya kita harus living a modest life and earning a modest living (amit2 jabang baby, bukannya nyumpahin kamu atapun aku sendiri..tapi nasib org sapa yg tau), apa aku mau ngejalanin itu semua dgn kamu? The time when I agreed untuk selalu di pihak kamu, immediately I have the answer.
5. Kamu orang pertama who made me cried a million tears setelah putus.
Despite you are the first or not, I Love You..
I thought you were "the one".
F : "Gimana kalo aku mau kita udahan aja?"
H : "Bisa ga kalo aku jawab abis makan?"
I was put in a daze.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Waktu itu aku pengen kamu ngeyakinin aku buat nerusin semuanya..to let me know kalo kamu mau ngusahain relationship itu. Karena kalo kamu mau, I believe I gonna do the same..and I would stand strong. Kali ini, pihak penentunya bukan aku tapi kamu. Percuma kalo aku mau nyoba nerusin semuanya, tapi kamu sendiri udah give up. The worst came, "kita temenan aja".
We're gonna stay friends. We'll keep contact just like before. What more can I say then? Selain meng"iya"kan semuanya..when deep inside, I know everything will never be the same. Gimana caranya bisa temenan seperti biasa kalo I can't ignore the feelings that once were? En untuk keep contact.. Frankly speaking, I have no guts untuk sekedar sms kamu duluan..apalagi telpon! Kali ini bukan karena gengsi, tapi because I'm afraid kamu bakal jadi takut ama aku..ato jadi terganggu ama sms2/telp2 dr aku.. ato parahnya, ntar dikira aku ngejar2 en ngotot ngarepin kamu! (swt...kalo yg trakhir mah ogah banget!).
To be honest, bohong kalo aku sama sekali ga ngarepin balik. Tapi aku ga bakal mau balikan lagi sebelum "external factors" yg ada diselesai'in.. Jadi kamu tenang aja, kalo misalnya suatu saat kamu "menggila" (U know what I mean), aku ga bakal ikut2an "menggila" en jawab iya =)
I believe broken heart does heal. It will take some time to mend, the damage that you've done. Sekarang aku uda ngerasa a lots better dibanding hari2 kemaren. Walaupun sampe sekarang masi ada waktu2 tertentu di mana aku kangen banget ama kamu... But, I will deal with it.
~Because I cared about you then, and I care about you still~
and I am alone..again.
I read a quote once, "You always believe your first love to be your last, and your last to be your first."
Then I am wondering if you really are my first love..
1. Aku ga suka kalo ada orang yang, in a way or another, ngejelek2in kamu. Instead of jadi il-fil sama kamu, aku malah "sibuk sendiri" ngejelasin kalo kamu ga seperti yg mereka kira.
2. Mengalah is not really my thing, apalagi kalo aku tau persis aku tuch ga salah. Sama kamu, aku bisa ngalah.
3. To swallow my ego, right in front of you, ngaku kalo aku uda suka kamu dr dulu..padahal aku masi ga yakin kalo kamu punya the same feeling towards me. Percaya dech, itu ga gampang buat aku.
4. I once asked myself a question, gimana kalo ternyata aku harus balik lg tinggal di Bjm? Misalnya, ternyata nantinya kita harus living a modest life and earning a modest living (amit2 jabang baby, bukannya nyumpahin kamu atapun aku sendiri..tapi nasib org sapa yg tau), apa aku mau ngejalanin itu semua dgn kamu? The time when I agreed untuk selalu di pihak kamu, immediately I have the answer.
5. Kamu orang pertama who made me cried a million tears setelah putus.
Despite you are the first or not, I Love You..
I thought you were "the one".
F : "Gimana kalo aku mau kita udahan aja?"
H : "Bisa ga kalo aku jawab abis makan?"
I was put in a daze.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Waktu itu aku pengen kamu ngeyakinin aku buat nerusin semuanya..to let me know kalo kamu mau ngusahain relationship itu. Karena kalo kamu mau, I believe I gonna do the same..and I would stand strong. Kali ini, pihak penentunya bukan aku tapi kamu. Percuma kalo aku mau nyoba nerusin semuanya, tapi kamu sendiri udah give up. The worst came, "kita temenan aja".
We're gonna stay friends. We'll keep contact just like before. What more can I say then? Selain meng"iya"kan semuanya..when deep inside, I know everything will never be the same. Gimana caranya bisa temenan seperti biasa kalo I can't ignore the feelings that once were? En untuk keep contact.. Frankly speaking, I have no guts untuk sekedar sms kamu duluan..apalagi telpon! Kali ini bukan karena gengsi, tapi because I'm afraid kamu bakal jadi takut ama aku..ato jadi terganggu ama sms2/telp2 dr aku.. ato parahnya, ntar dikira aku ngejar2 en ngotot ngarepin kamu! (swt...kalo yg trakhir mah ogah banget!).
To be honest, bohong kalo aku sama sekali ga ngarepin balik. Tapi aku ga bakal mau balikan lagi sebelum "external factors" yg ada diselesai'in.. Jadi kamu tenang aja, kalo misalnya suatu saat kamu "menggila" (U know what I mean), aku ga bakal ikut2an "menggila" en jawab iya =)
I believe broken heart does heal. It will take some time to mend, the damage that you've done. Sekarang aku uda ngerasa a lots better dibanding hari2 kemaren. Walaupun sampe sekarang masi ada waktu2 tertentu di mana aku kangen banget ama kamu... But, I will deal with it.
~Because I cared about you then, and I care about you still~
